Today I’m writing about something that has been bothering me lately. People labelling eachother with the terms ‘introvert’ or ‘extravert’. A personality theory introduced by Sigmund Freud and further popularized by Carl Jung. The general feeling that I feel is connected in society to those terms is that introverted people are of less value, that they should feel bad about not being a social bubbly extraverted person. NOT TRUE! First of all, we should see this theory as a spectrum, not as lables. Some people are just more people-focussed than others, that isn’t a bad thing. People who lean more towards introversion don’t need fixing (what extraverted people might think) and not always wanting to talk to people all the time doesn’t mean they’re less happy in life!
Personally, I thought I was more an introverted person than extraverted person, but I hate being labelled as one… Cause ofcourse, in some situations I tend to stay in the background and prefer not to small talk in big groups. But that doesn’t mean I’m an antisocial, shy and not-outgoing person! In other situations I can be extraverted as well (maybe something I’ve developed over the years as well). However, only when I feel enthusiastic, I act extraverted, I don’t even have to try hard. I won’t shut up about a subject that I’m truly interested about! But sometimes I just feel more like sitting back and listen to what other people are saying, instead of mingle in the conversation. Does that make me a less interesting person for others? Maybe… if you judge me by only looking at that last moment. But if you know me, you know I’m a social and caring person, I might just show it in different ways!
Ambivert, personally I wasn’t familiar with this term, but I’m happy I do now!
“Ambiverts typically slide up and down the spectrum depending on the situation, context and people around them. I call this situational introversion” (Science of People, 2014)
I think that is a description that is right up my alley, and relates to the things I’ve described above. I think I just have to get a bit more peace with myself that I am introverted in some ways. That sometimes, I have to really put in effort to be talkative, and that i dream about being more extraverted (Cause it feels like extratverted people tend to rule the world and are seen as more suitable for jobs). But that on the other hand, the extraverted side of me is definitely there and developing. And hey, isn’t writing a blog a more extraverted thing to do? Showing my thoughts and feelings: I do want to share them, but sometimes I don’t really know how and when!
So yeah, what I’m trying to say with this post is: embrace who you are! Also, try to understand others people’s way of functioning a bit more, we can all learn from eachother :-) And hey, I might even want to wear a label now again: an ambivert, that’s me!