I can struggle with decision-making, not because I can’t make up my mind, but I make up my mind quite quick and not always well thought through. For me this has two sides:
Sometimes, I can convince myself so much of something that I should or shouldn’t do, that I’m really reluctant and stubborn to change my plan/perception. I then am completely convinced that my plan is the way to go and everyone should like it and agree with it. This may get quite annoying for people around me, and I’m aware of that. But I don’t mean it badly, it’s mostly just enthusiasm if I decide that I really want to do something. If I really don’t want to do something, it’s really hard for me to see the opposite perspective and change my mind to doing/trying it anyways.
Sometimes, I get pushed back and forward between two opposite opinions and are too flexible in changing my decision/opinion. Then, I tend to agree with one person (if he/she comes with good argument), but the next moment I can completely switch sides if the other person has good counterarguments. It may seem like I don’t have a backbone, get run over easily. But mostly, it’s because I don’t really mind which the end-result of the decision is. I want people to decide for me then. This situation I especially hate, cause I feel like I should care and try more. I should pay more more attention to weighing the pros and cons from both sides and make a decision by myself regardless what other people might think.
Both may sound a bit cryptical so I’ll provide you with some examples. The first 2 apply to situation 1 and the other 2 apply to situation 2:
- Booking holidays: Yep this is kind of a hobby of mine, I love to browse the internet to find good deals. However, I prefer not to travel alone so when me and a travel partner need to decide where to go to or what to book. I tend to be very convinced of the deals & destinations I find and prefer to book them right away!;) Which of course, mostly isn’t possible, so it may annoy my travel partner if I’m pushing my finds through too much!
- Love: When I try to make up my mind if someone is right for me or not, I can make up my mind quite quickly. Some may say I should try things out a bit longer, but I think this also has to do with intuition and gut feeling. I think: if it feels right it’s right, if you foresee some problems in the beginning already then why should you continue it to try to make it work regardless? The deeper you’re in it, the harder it is to get out when it’s indeed not right;) (More on love here!)
- Decisions at work: This relates to situation 2, not that I don’t care about my work. But sometimes I don’t really know the best option for a project and I prefer someone taking the decision for me. I’ll make it work with the option that is chosen! I think it’s also because taking big work-related decisions is sometimes risky and a bit new & scary for me. What if my decision is the wrong one? It’s always easier to let someone else take that responsibility I think ;)
- Choosing my studies: When I cannot let someone else make the decision for me and I don’t really know what option is best. I try just to get rid of the options I’m sure I don’t want, and just make it work with the option that’s left. Even though I’m happy with the study decisions I made, it was mostly based on gut feeling and influences from family and friends.
Sooo do you have any tips on how to improve my decision-making? Or do you think it’s completely normal the way I act? ;) I’m planning on reading the book ‘Thinking, fast & slow’ by Daniel Kahneman. I heard a lot of positive stories about this! Who knows if it may help me out:)