Preventing FOMO: The Fear Of Missing Out

Today, I want to talk about FOMO, it stands for the Fear Of Missing Out. It basically means that you constantly have the urge to be at all popular events or friend hangouts, that when you skipped something, you might have missed something great. It may sound like a lame term, like the next YOLO or something, but it actually has some meaning to it. I personally don’t have this fear, but I do feel like it’s easy to get caught up in it. In today’s world there are so many temptations for people to do, to visit and to see. Facebook is full of pictures of people travelling the world and festival events are popping up like mushrooms! It’s often difficult to deal with the pressure of attending social gatherings, especially when each gathering is a lot of fun!

Since I’ve been working, I did have some trouble scheduling my time, as I’m mainly dependent on the weekends for seeing the majority of my friends and family. In my previous blog, I mentioned that I really had do figure out how to deal with friend living further away. Trying to see them, mostly means planning ahead very early. If you do this with a lot of friends, you’re agenda is filling up constantly months and months ahead! It’s also a culture thing, here in the Netherlands it’s considered quite normal (if not expected) to send out party invitations about 6-8 weeks prior the event. Isn’t that crazy? However, I still do it anyway. I won’t say no to a party someone invited me to weeks in advance. Mostly because I think I have to, but also because of a slight fear of missing out. Most of the time, things my friend plan are a lot of fun, so why would you want to skip that? Even if it means more people plan something on the same day (which happens quite often), I often try to combine the options. What if I go to only one thing? Then I will miss out on the other and disappoint that person. I find it quite hard.

Social pressure

I feel like in general, it’s not socially accepted to not go somewhere if you’re technically able to go, but just don’t feel like going. Especially when the pressure is added of something that is planned weeks beforehand. Of course I think it’s a really bad quality if someone always cancels plans on the last moment, I’m definitely not encouraging that. But wouldn’t it be great if everyone was a bit more flexible? Over the last few months during summer, I planned things a lot more spontaneously. It felt so much more natural and relaxing! It’s actually quite fun to not know what your day will look like and if you come up with something nice, just go with it! I’m definitely trying to keep that up, cause my weekends are filling up already and I’m not liking it!

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Men vs. Women

I feel like women struggle with this issue more than men. In my opinion, us ladies are less open to make last-minute plans, cause we are stuck on something set in our head. Men have more an attitude like “we’ll see”. They don’t mind if they don’t have any plans for the weekend scheduled, cause mostly there are always some friends of their who are up for something fun if they want to. Women on the other hand, plan their going out nights well ahead, even if this means that on the night itself they might don’t even feel like going so much. I think we can definitely learn something from guys here ;)

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Chilling is underrated

Finally, I think chilling at home is very much underrated! I personally love it, I’m really good at doing absolutely nothing, even if it’s for multiple days! However, sometimes I do feel pressured to fill up my evenings and days, because chilling at home to much is seen as boring. Some people really find it hard to have nothing to do and try to get out and see people everyday. I can’t imagine how tiring that must be, if i’m around people all the time, it drains me so much. I really need some me-time every once in a while. However, skipping an event for just chilling, that is something I rarely do, and that’s a shame I think!

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All in all, I therefore think we should not focus to much on what is happening all around us. Make up your own mind on what interests you and go only to there. Good friends will stay friends even if you don’t see them for a while, so don’t stress and try to schedule meetings too often. Take your time to relax, maybe try to keep one weekend a month completely empty and see if you can make some spontaneous plans that weekend (only if you feel like doing stuff). I need to remind myself to these things too, otherwise i’ll end up running from pillar to post constantly and that makes no-one happy. Pick out the things you would like to attend mostly and enjoy it to the fullest! :)

Love,
Elles

 

 

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