The Paradox of Good Conversations: Showing Interest vs. Being Interesting

Hi there! Today I’d like to talk about what it means to have good conversations: with strangers, with friends or family or even with dates. As I described in one of my first blogs, I see myself as a so-called “Ambivert”. I’m not extraverted, but not introverted either: it largely depends on the situation. Lately, I’ve been thinking about what this means for conversing with people, getting to know them and letting them to get to know me. In my previous blog, I mentioned that it’s sometimes hard for me to be really out there, to try and have good talks with people. When I’m around people that don’t really know me well yet, I’m constantly concerned about how they perceive my silence (when I don’t talk) and social skills (when I do talk). I know I shouldn’t focus on it so much, as people don’t focus on ME that much! Everyone is paying more attention to themselves than that they are to you, so I shouldn’t be so worried. It’s not that I’m that insecure, or want everyone to like me, but in general, I feel like I’m now over-compensating  on showing interest, which makes me less interesting for other people. You might think now whaaaat that’s silly, of course that’s not true! And probably it isn’t, but it’s something I’ve just thought about quite a bit over the last few months. This is the paradox I’m referring to: showing interest and being interesting don’t go so well together quite often! I’ll illustrate some situations to explain it  all better :) Continue reading


Why every student should join a student asociation

I now graduated one year ago, I let go of my student life and started working life. For me this transition had some highs and lows. I can look back on an amazing student time and even though I had some nice friends from my high school life, the thing that made my student life so great was joining student associations! You might think of stupid stereotypes of people joining these associations, but I can definitely proof you wrong! ;)

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Long-distance friendships: Do’s and Don’ts

It’s been little over half a year now that i’ve graduated from university, but it feels like ages ago. Somehow I feel like life has only started after my graduation. As mentioned before in a previous post, i’ve lived a large amount of time on an auto-pilot mode. Mostly related to my study though, just picking courses, making assignments, studying for exams. I didn’t think much really through but just did what was expected. Luckily, next to my studies I was able to build a vibrant social life: I joined a student association, a badminton association, met people at my studies and maintained high-school friendships. Nothing to complain and I was able to combine all of this pretty well with my study.

But then, it allll ended…. Continue reading