Getting to know myself: I am a visual thinker

Over the past few years, I’ve enjoyed it a lot to dig a bit deeper into psychology and understanding how I and others around me function. A few months ago, I posted about a book I read, which was really helpful for me. Also, as you might have noticed. I’m quite observational, assessing how people communicate with each other, how behave in different situations (as an ambivert), and how I make decisions. This post, is quite related to my first post of how to deal with large amounts of information, where I indicated that everyone has different learning styles. I already thought I had quite a visual way of learning, but now I found an article on that being a ‘visual thinker’ is actually a thing. As opposed to many people being verbal thinkers. Continue reading

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The Paradox of Good Conversations: Showing Interest vs. Being Interesting

Hi there! Today I’d like to talk about what it means to have good conversations: with strangers, with friends or family or even with dates. As I described in one of my first blogs, I see myself as a so-called “Ambivert”. I’m not extraverted, but not introverted either: it largely depends on the situation. Lately, I’ve been thinking about what this means for conversing with people, getting to know them and letting them to get to know me. In my previous blog, I mentioned that it’s sometimes hard for me to be really out there, to try and have good talks with people. When I’m around people that don’t really know me well yet, I’m constantly concerned about how they perceive my silence (when I don’t talk) and social skills (when I do talk). I know I shouldn’t focus on it so much, as people don’t focus on ME that much! Everyone is paying more attention to themselves than that they are to you, so I shouldn’t be so worried. It’s not that I’m that insecure, or want everyone to like me, but in general, I feel like I’m now over-compensating  on showing interest, which makes me less interesting for other people. You might think now whaaaat that’s silly, of course that’s not true! And probably it isn’t, but it’s something I’ve just thought about quite a bit over the last few months. This is the paradox I’m referring to: showing interest and being interesting don’t go so well together quite often! I’ll illustrate some situations to explain it  all better :) Continue reading

How I try to make the right decision

I can struggle with decision-making, not because I can’t make up my mind, but I make up my mind quite quick and not always well thought through. For me this has two sides:

Situation 1:

Sometimes, I can convince myself so much of something that I should or shouldn’t do, that I’m really reluctant and stubborn to change my plan/perception. I then am completely convinced that my plan is the way to go and everyone should like it and agree with it. This may get quite annoying for people around me, and I’m aware of that. But I don’t mean it badly, it’s mostly just enthusiasm if I decide that I really want to do something. If I really don’t want to do something, it’s really hard for me to see the opposite perspective and change my mind to doing/trying it anyways.

Situation 2: Continue reading

My 6 key insights on love & dating

Sooo.. Love. A topic that I’ve never written about yet, and was doubting if I should! I decided not to write anything about my personal love life, but do want to share some insights that I’ve gained over the past few years. A friend told me I should write about all the dates I had, well I won’t do that but I can share some insights I got as a result of my (mostly nice) dating experiences;). I’m not saying these insights are the key to success (definitely not, I’m no expert and love is complicated!), but they are just some things I’ve noticed and want to share with you and may help you for your dating life (with funny gifs yay!)

1. Know when to give it time and when not

I cannot scientifically support this, but I feel that guys can be completely into a girl and fall in love really fast, while most girls (me included) need some time to develop feelings for a guy. So… If you’re dating a guy for a while and you start to like him more and more, but you feel like the guy is not completely into you. He probably never will be, most guys are quite clear when they like a girl: they go for it! If its the other way around: A guy really likes you, but you’re still doubting a bit, give it some time! You may completely fall in love later on!

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2015 in review & 2016 in sight: my New Year’s Resolutions!

It’s the end of the year again, time to reflect on your accomplishments of the past year and set goals for the new year. This year has been pretty intense for me: extremely many changes with highs and lows. I will review 2015 and then share my aspirations for 2016!

2015: Personal Development

I feel like over the past year and the years before I mostly developed myself personally. In 2014 a goal of mine was to become stronger in sharing my opinion and being more confident about myself and capabilities. I definitely see improvement since then, but it will be something to keep focussing in. In 2015 I’ve got to know myself better, I tried to understand my way of functioning and thinking better. Starting my blog was one way to achieve this, to pay more conscious attention to what I’m feeling and thinking. Writing things down really helped me to see things more clear! Also a book I read was really helpful: Continue reading