Getting to know myself: I am a visual thinker

Over the past few years, I’ve enjoyed it a lot to dig a bit deeper into psychology and understanding how I and others around me function. A few months ago, I posted about a book I read, which was really helpful for me. Also, as you might have noticed. I’m quite observational, assessing how people communicate with each other, how behave in different situations (as an ambivert), and how I make decisions. This post, is quite related to my first post of how to deal with large amounts of information, where I indicated that everyone has different learning styles. I already thought I had quite a visual way of learning, but now I found an article on that being a ‘visual thinker’ is actually a thing. As opposed to many people being verbal thinkers. Continue reading

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The Paradox of Good Conversations: Showing Interest vs. Being Interesting

Hi there! Today I’d like to talk about what it means to have good conversations: with strangers, with friends or family or even with dates. As I described in one of my first blogs, I see myself as a so-called “Ambivert”. I’m not extraverted, but not introverted either: it largely depends on the situation. Lately, I’ve been thinking about what this means for conversing with people, getting to know them and letting them to get to know me. In my previous blog, I mentioned that it’s sometimes hard for me to be really out there, to try and have good talks with people. When I’m around people that don’t really know me well yet, I’m constantly concerned about how they perceive my silence (when I don’t talk) and social skills (when I do talk). I know I shouldn’t focus on it so much, as people don’t focus on ME that much! Everyone is paying more attention to themselves than that they are to you, so I shouldn’t be so worried. It’s not that I’m that insecure, or want everyone to like me, but in general, I feel like I’m now over-compensating  on showing interest, which makes me less interesting for other people. You might think now whaaaat that’s silly, of course that’s not true! And probably it isn’t, but it’s something I’ve just thought about quite a bit over the last few months. This is the paradox I’m referring to: showing interest and being interesting don’t go so well together quite often! I’ll illustrate some situations to explain it  all better :) Continue reading

What family means to me

Last weekend I had a family weekend in the area of Zeewolde. It’s a yearly event with all the brothers of my grandpa and their families, so you can imagine that was a really large group of people! Every time, we come together in the first weekend of June on a camping site and spend time together playing games, sporting, enjoying the sun and most importantly: BBQ time and campfire with songs and guitar in the evening!

This year, I decided to go by bicycle my first ‘long’ drive of about 50 kilometers! It went pretty well, the weather was amazing and I cycled together with my dad for the last bit of the ride. I had a backpack on with some clothing and shoes, so that added a small difficulty factor to the ride ;)  Follow me on Strava to see where I’m going!:) Continue reading

My 6 key insights on love & dating

Sooo.. Love. A topic that I’ve never written about yet, and was doubting if I should! I decided not to write anything about my personal love life, but do want to share some insights that I’ve gained over the past few years. A friend told me I should write about all the dates I had, well I won’t do that but I can share some insights I got as a result of my (mostly nice) dating experiences;). I’m not saying these insights are the key to success (definitely not, I’m no expert and love is complicated!), but they are just some things I’ve noticed and want to share with you and may help you for your dating life (with funny gifs yay!)

1. Know when to give it time and when not

I cannot scientifically support this, but I feel that guys can be completely into a girl and fall in love really fast, while most girls (me included) need some time to develop feelings for a guy. So… If you’re dating a guy for a while and you start to like him more and more, but you feel like the guy is not completely into you. He probably never will be, most guys are quite clear when they like a girl: they go for it! If its the other way around: A guy really likes you, but you’re still doubting a bit, give it some time! You may completely fall in love later on!

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Why you shouldn’t just live your life

We all know the saying ‘live your life’, meaning you should enjoy it to the fullest. I always thought: I just want to be happy, get a family, a nice job, travel a lot and do other fun things. However, I didn’t spend much time into figuring out what would actually make me happy and how to achieve this. I feel like the biggest part of my life I’ve partly acted on an auto pilot mode. Going from primary school to high school, eliminating course subjects that I wasn’t so good at, choosing a study that was in line with what I was good at, went to university and did what was expected of me. But did I really enjoy it? Continue reading